insomnia for you

I wanted to be in bed by midnight tonight. It's 10 minutes to, and I could definitely still do it, but something is holding me back.

It's my crush. I wanna stay up and get her texts. I wanna wait until she comes online and chats with me. I wanna look at pictures of her and get that warm, fuzzy feeling inside when she messages me.

Wow... am I that far gone? I never meant to be.

I thought she might've stopped texting me, but there's another one. It's one of those texts where you can't tell if another one's coming after/before it. I'll give it a few minutes. A few more minutes to take a deep breath that is hard to breathe in because you're feeling anxiety/butterflies at the same time.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow...

I think it's the idea of it all. I mean - a new crush. I doubt she reciprocates, but of course there's that little voice that keeps saying, "maybe... maybe... maybe..." and I listen to it because I want it to be true, but it never is... but it's not always terrible in the end either. Sometimes it just fades away. This will too...

It's midnight now. It's time for bed, but I can't. I told myself no computer. Just bed. Maybe a book. I mean, I can just lie there with my cell phone on... I need to be up in the morning to study. I need to be ready to get to campus by noon at the latest.

Just a little longer...?