Crushed

It's really frustrating being gay sometimes. I like being gay and I am so fortunate because I have an AMAZING family/friend group who all support me and love me. They don't ignore my queerness - they embrace it. My parents are especially amazing. They're constantly sending me clips/articles/etc. about queer stuff - not in an annoying way, just in a way that shows how much they love me. I love it! I'm also totally comfortable with myself - I'm very clear on my sexual orientation, and as far as I'm concerned, there's no ambiguity in that arena for me. So - what is it that makes being gay frustrating if all of these things are so perfect?

CRUSHES.

I love to love/like. I have a lot of feelings, and I really like directing them towards someone, so a crush is usually a welcome distraction. BUT what about when you don't know her orientation? She's a couple years younger than I, and so her interest in me could simply be a younger girl looking up to an older one, right? I mean, if I were her age, I'd think I was pretty cool too, haha! But maybe it's not like that... maybe she is crushing on me.

I met her through a friend. My friend (who's not one to assume that anyone's gay, unless they're more stereotypical) thinks that it's possible that the girl I'm crushing on (we'll call her S.) is bisexual or something. Ugh it's hard to say. And I've had crushes on straight girls before, so I'm not really concerned about it... but... UGH!

Anyway, that's all for now - exams to study for, essays to write...